General idea: When we are stressed, depressed, or sick, what would we want most? More than anything, we would appreciate the kindness and compassion of other people, that is, genuine kindness which does not depend on external conditions. Naturally, we too want to be able to help others in an analogous way. In this session, we practice a type of meditation to cultivate kindness (variously called loving-kindness, loving-friendliness, and metta in Buddhism). One basic element here is to overcome the separation between self and others. We often blame others to protect us (or so we think). But as we go through our paths, we realize that blaming others, or even self, is not productive. To practice this meditation, we start from wishing the best for ourselves, extending it to our families, friends, and everyone else. Self-compassion is the seed of kindness to others. It is not necessary to consider this meditation as a means to change the world with, say, some supernatural power. This type of meditation has been effective to cultivate our kindness towards ourselves and others.
Practice: We try to relax and then focus on the present moment or the breath for a while. Next, we think about ourselves and non-verbally state, “May I be at peace,” and “May I be free from suffering.” We can change the wording as we like. But it is important to do this wholeheartedly, regardless of what we normally think of ourselves. In a sense, we need to concentrate on this thought. We then extend this to our families, our friends, all the people (and possibly all the living things).
Connection to everyday life: Regular practice of kindness meditation is said to change our mentality. Even when we cannot set aside some time for sitting, we can adapt kindness meditation as we go through daily activities. For example, when we are sad, irritated, or angry, especially in connection to other people, we can try this mediation informally, even for a brief moment. That could change our mood for the rest of the day.
Connection to mindfulness: With mindfulness, we can see how we react to various events, often based on our misconception of self/other separation. Mindfulness would give us opportunities to sense the importance of inclusiveness/relatedness, which naturally leads to kindness. At the same time, we cannot develop mindfulness, if our minds are affected by negative mental factors, such as ignorance, greed, and hatred. One of the tools to counter these negative factors is kindness.